first love at the baby shower

 

i know where not to go

your middle drawer, for example

the part of your heart

locked to the mystery

a steel-framed army

gunning for blood

my mother’s home-base

i see your face

and i can’t remember

what i miss

the this of this that once

was so compelling 

i was dreaming white dresses

and babies and forever

just like i was taught to

it was all so new

and now, decades later,

you tell me you are going

to iceland w your new lover

and i feel happy for you,

say i’ll send my recs

talk about the rainbows

and the mist

a tiny flicker of your eyes

in high school, your face

years before your face

i’m in conversation with now

how when we first broke up

the prospect of one day 

being “just friends” was gutting and now it’s fine, we’re fine.