false cognates

ellen lost her little dachshund
burrowed under the fence, up and left of his own volition
everything spilling out from that moment
her vow of celibacy
blank eyes blanket statements
the twins the tennessee commune with
the wild cows and the washed out road
the needy dogs the one in heat
the philosopher husband, the
sweet cold spring in a hollow of cotton mouths
me a question mark and a vision
of earth of basalt energy and loamy lines

flowing back to

the thick black spool of suwannee

the whooping cranes, the cypress knees, 

flat and ascendant spanse of prairie

i want to live backward forward and laterally

careful cleft of a life lived in two halves

before and before

after after

look i don't have a single answer and

i didn’t love any more then or 

any less now

like anything, an acquiescence

crown molding spirit to ribcage

i think to be honest but spill out past praise

but then is the pressure point of praise not something

altogether human

enrapt, fuming

i'm not sure when ever
i'll hug rob who for months on end lugged
around a taxidermied lynx named wilhemina
how you had to ask any questions to rob through wilhemina
and wait for her to answer, until he traded her to someone
on craigslist for a homehewn mandolin and a fistful of spliffs

BRAIN/ GREEN/ HAND/ HAIR/ HEART/ WATER

BRAIN
Woman on the train  selling needles, knives, salami and binoculars.
The novel will combine spirals of doubt with photos of curtains and walls.
The narrator sits in parks alone and eats  pastries that leak oil through the paper
they are wrapped in. The clicking of a cane. Zdravete to the bench men.
Giving coins to women dozing.  Special tea, honey, peppers, fig jam, platform shoes,
nice pencils, underwear, hair clips, rakia, ouzo, the board game “Gender Wars”,
figs, plums, nuts, honey, cheese, stuffed peppers, mish mash,
hot dogs with white/yellow cheese, shopska, gratin.
Working women (maids?) ask working men (chauffeurs?)
from the same (hotel?) for lights in the park on a (cigarette?) break. 
The last almond. the lonely party animal. Wide eyes, pursed lips.
Can of coffee and Adidas. More men sleeping. Me with a man as my guide.
Keep the knowledge of pairs, the looming face, the landscape, what happens.
Turns out there’s lots more I won’t admit I don’t know.
Dials and wheels.

GREEN  

Green drink giving me strength, you’re the psycho killer.

Girls crying on headphones, crates of leafy green. A risk, but nerve power,

he's already “under the table”, so no problem, circling me with his warm

sweater arm, nudging, slamming glasses and hollering, ordering photos –

get the dj, get the dancing girls, takes my hands to dance, green pink white crystal

pin-points of light, I'm wearing 6 shirts and smell like nothing good,

the village cold, the silent streets, 2 old freaks making out

in the teenage territories.

HAND 

At the house of Milko and Velli a walnut tree, two chairs separated by a table

covered in cloth and lined up jars of food Velli is canning for winter. Lunch is ready:

Moussaka, bread, yogurt, cucumber – like Krastev. Little plastic cup crème brûlée pudding,

plums and grapes. At the train station Milko extends his hand then takes us to the view. 

HAIR

Dripping braid, floor sediment in the rental behind banitza factory, massive rain,

the dip that cradles the birthmark. Pink skin red hair. Orange hair, red face. Laundry running,

egg boiling, instant coffee, hair drying. Chocolate mouth, advanced herbal soap shampoo.

HEART 

To bar and to drink but then wetness, trying to explain. Blue American purgatory.

Confessions of an aching spy. Every night at 2:30 am

he reaches across the canyon to tell me no.  

WATER 

Tall joyful movie star girls, waterfall hair, dancing faster 

than music. Bottle to prop the train window, fields of black dry sunflowers, 

fried fish, snow white Croatia salad, same song, man watching tv, girl who cut her leg

and wants to play without jumping, boy who is good at math whose mother wants him

to say “what’s your name”, haz se kazvash en angliski, 

I am americanski and we are doing a proyect

sharing money, sharing water, when we are close I want

to be closer, chugging from

a green bottle in a green place

girls helping each other look good 

in the bathroom, laugh-nodding 

dobre, dobre, 

da.