barefoot night hike through cowboy cologne

there was a tarantula on the wall

we sprayed with petrochemicals

and swatted with a broom

legs quaking

as it died

on the bed

where someone i love

held a teenage tantrum

as someone i love

tried to sedate him

saying his trauma wasn’t so bad

which is why

there’s bad blood

and radioactivity in the soil

decades after the fallout

the assault of invisibility

of bad teachers

who teach bad lessons

and the pain decays so slowly

or doesn’t at all

when to grieve

or when not to build a summer camp

next to a nuclear facility

when to fire toxic employees

with histories of bad behavior

like telling a child not to cry

when they’re hurt

or telling yourself

that clean nuclear is safe

while dipping your hands in uranium

and brushing them through your hair

and gathering rattlesnake skins

for bible study

while forgetting the poison

at the roots of desert willows

in the molten stones

which is why there’s bad blood

in my veins

or maybe i was born with it

blood disease

and genes are science

feelings are art

which is why

we need more funding for the humanities