when and if the ball drops

new years ago i resolved

to wear more make up

but the infection in my tear ducts

cast a sallow spell on my ambitions

and now the thought of glitter and mascara

stirs my anxiety

and now when my eyes are bloodshot

and swollen from

an overzealous compress

you assume i've been crying

my hypnotherapist blames my liver

my past life worker questions my anger

my reflexologist knows it's my spleen

and draws blood from my third and big toes

my friends doubted the ethic

of my self care

i doubt and i make up

and i doubt and i make up

resolutions cheap

as oversized plastic glasses