Third Beach

Remember the spring

When I took that trip

Solo to the beach

Pitched a tent too close

To the water

And woke up to high tide

Seeping through my sleeping bag?

Same spring that my 

Nonna died, sat up 

In her hospital bed

Coughed blood, gone before 

We could arrive for the leaving

Same spring that I

Ate pussy for the first time.

I was nervous and 5am asleep awake

Unprepared so careful to slip one finger 

Then two inside

Below my mouth, and

She surprised us both by

Contracting around me

In waves I cheered for the bright shock of it

And she wiped my mouth with her palm

I wrote a eulogy for Nonna.

Read it in a church

Wearing an outfit I hoped

She’d approve of. I eulogized the barely one-month-past

Airport scene where mom met us at baggage claim

Crying through

~She passed thirty minutes ago

My brother swore and I sobbed.

Then the Father said 

The race is run. She is done.

My dad whimpered next to me.

I wish I’d let the drama 

Move me to tears.

At the beach with an 

Hour until high tide

I joke about how silly 

The anxiety will seem

Once it’s clear that the

Moon white waves won’t

Reach me. But they thunder

Closer and rush up the

Sand, no prayer will

Stop them, they play 

And plunder unbeckoned.